Product Review: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead [Hardcover] *For Parents*

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.” —Theodore Roosevelt

I have always been a fighter. Not like Rocky Balboa. No, more like Daniel from the first Karate Kid but without the actual physical karate. I will always stand up for what I believe even if I need some serious Mr. Miyagi rubs during the fight to get me through. I will show up and sometimes, darn it, I may even make a difference. I also like to read A LOT. I love self-help, parenting and leadership books because I think it does make you more aware and stronger as a person and parent and I want to constantly be getting better. Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a path to courage. That is Dr. Brené Brown’s truth to living our family lives and all of our relationships in an honest and engaging way to have meaningful connections in life especially with our kids. Truth, trust and emotional exposure actually take away our uncertainty and risk if we choose to embrace this courageous task. To speak openly and honestly about our weaknesses and strengths used to be a very frightening thing to me. I could not or would not open up to people about even the smallest things that did not matter. Why? I lived that way because I did not want to get hurt and people used things against me when I was younger that I said to them in confidence so I closed myself off. What I have realized through many events and years, especially since my late twenties, is that no one can hurt me. Not really. I do not give them that power. That does not mean I still don’t have tough days, sad days, emotional days and the most giddy and happiest days I have ever experienced. We are each a person, we have to take things personally, right? (Oh, for those that have seen Boardwalk Empire, I totally just paraphrased that! Ha!) However, you have to embrace imperfection, in yourself and in others…to a point. You can trust in many things: organizations, families, schools, and communities until they give you reason to not trust them. While I used to work backwards (don’t trust until given reason), I am now trying to embrace life working and moving forward. When you live your life in truth and look at each day with a clear and honest lens, you feel refreshed. You do not feel scared. I remember going through a very tough period two years ago and some days I did not want to get out of bed and go to work, and many mornings the words to the Decemberists song would pop into my head (Tom Petty’s “I Won’t Back Down” is an awesome pump up song for me, too!) and I thought….wow, yes, I get out of bed because I am strong even when vulnerable. I am courageous, and I will not back down when things are not right. I will keep going and I will not let others dictate my life. I will tell you it got better. It got So much better. It is my life and I want my daughter to live her life just as freely. We, as parents, lead by example. So what example are you setting for your kids? As your kids are in my child’s generation, I care how they will learn, live and grow with her and I hope to be that strong example to show my daughter you can be strong and vulnerable at the same time. There is no shame in openness and there is no shame in sticking up for your beliefs while still maintaining your humanity and friendships. I am just glad I allowed myself to learn those lessons (the hard way, I may add) so it will hopefully be easier for Brooke. We will each find our way, but if we have parents to help guide us, I have to imagine it is an easier and more gentle road to follow. That is my hope. This is why I fight and this is why Daring Greatly helps me improve that path.

“This is why

Why we fight

Why we lie awake

This is why

This is why we fight

When we die

We will die with our arms unbound

And this is why

This is why we fight”

Taken from ‘This is Why We Fight’ – lyrics by the Decemberists

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead [Hardcover] *For Parents*

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